We may be as mad as a bag of ferrets, but we admire cheeky branding. And the Brits have been brilliant at this for nearly 5,000 fortnights. That “Sun Never Sets on the British Empire” rubbish forever solidified the UK’s standing as the second most overrated empire in human history. And now “BREXIT” may be the only way Britons have gotten anyone give a dogs bollox about them since Pipa Middelton’s smashing bridesmaid’s gown.

Clearly, I’m no global economist. I did, however, get a B- in Freshman Economics — studying under Prof. Charles Britton(coincidence?) — so I feel more than qualified to drop a clanger on England’s peevish move to tell the European Union to get stuffed. (Or maybe they didn’t, I wrote this before the voting started.)

Being the economic engine that drives the EU is a bit like winning Miss Congeniality in the Miss Puerto Rico pageant. Or being named captain of your high school tennis team. Or being a football powerhouse in the Big-12. Or being the most heralded breakdancerin ALL of Rhode Island. Bully for you!

Consider this: Jaguar got MORE reliable when Ford bought them.

We will gather today at the Smoke and Barrel to consider the economic ramifications of the Euro going arse over tit, making German cars and French … ummm .. what do they make? .. cheese? … a hell of a lot cheaper. Jason Gentemann will speak on behalf of Germany. Matt Charboneau will mime on behalf of the French.

Smoke and Barrel — 4:30 to 6:30
324 W Dickson St

Votes also are not yet in on the Dickson St. Pub’s decision to exit Dickson St. for the thriving new Tontitown entertainment district.