The XFL is back, baby!

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If you’ve been wondering whats missing in your life this week — that feeling of loss and longing, casting about thru life with no real meaning — its football. For the first weekend in six months, you will miss out on the tight end getting slobberknockered on the end around.  

Well, do we have good news for you!?!?!? Sir Vincent Orlando McMahon announced this week that the XFL is coming back, baby.

For the uninitiated, Vince McMahon (husband of Trump’s Small Business Administration…uhh…Administrator, Linda McMahon) is the genius who mashed-up professional wrestling with professional football in a glorious entertainment extravaganza designed for fans who loved concussions, but felt like NFL cheerleaders were a tad too wholesome for their taste.

No word on whether Colin Kapernick with be allowed to play the role of He Hate Me, but we can confirm that Tim Tebow is looking to anchor the new XFL expansion franchise, Jacksonville Jesus Freaks.

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One bit of housekeeping: If you are with the FADA contingent at the World Economic Forum in Davos this weekend, Melania is not (REPEAT: NOT) going to make the trip. She is looking to unload her ticket to the Cryptocurrency Symposium with JPMorgan's Jamie Diamond and Wu Tang’s Ghostface Killah.  Willing to take face value (very fair).  If you know anyone interested, hit her up at 202/456-1111.