Crash and Burn

The Veterans Health Care System of the Ozarks have forwarded this notice from Lost and Found, and asked us to help get the word out.  Please see below:

*** MISSING ***

If anyone has seen the hospital's 2004 Gray Chrysler Pacifica, please contact the motor pool.  The government issued minivan has been missing since White House physician, Dr. Ronny Jackson, visited our campus last week as part of his on-boarding as the new VA Secretary.  Apparently the IT Department checked out the vehicle for their bi-weekly happy hour — of which Dr. Jackson was the keynote speaker. The vehicle was last seen in the parking lot of the White Star Lounge near the Fayetteville Municipal Airport. Scott Lozan has been forced to walk to all offsite meetings since the disappearance, and would greatly appreciate the vehicle's prompt return.

*** UPDATE ***

The Chrysler Pacifica has been found.  It sustained moderate damage and was abandon in a field near Fayetteville Country Club next to a black Ford Expedition EL owned by local resident Jan Sturner. In a related matter, the Pharmacy has reported missing several bottles of Ambien and Provigil. We are not pointing fingers, but would appreciate their return, Dr. Agie.  Now that Dr. Jackson (AKA “The Candyman”), has withdrawn his nomination for Secretary, we will NOT be liberalizing our “recreational pharmaceuticals” policies for VA Staff as had been promised. 

Please keep an eye out, and if you see something, say something.

We will gather in celebration of the joint birthdays of Amy McClinton-Driver and Michael Martin-Malone yesterday. (Both likely in absentia.) We don’t know what got into the Stork that day, but on April 26, 1969, s/he was delivering quality products.

Yee Hawg-- 5:00 to 7:00
402 W Dickson St

Starting the evening at Yee Hawg just seemed to save a step for a few of you.  Mechanical Hawg ridesare on the house from 5:00 to 5:10.