Hands off the goodies, boys.

/ Maxine's Tap Room/
Kennedy Monroe.jpg

This week, the final 2,800 files related to the Kennedy Assassination investigation were released by President Trump.  Because our Dear Leader really, really cares about transparency in your government.

We just finished reading thru the dossiers and noticed a few things:

  • Oliver Stone was right!  The whole operation was run by the gay mafia out of New Orleans.  Turns out 'Nawlens is a place that cares much more about arch-conservative politics than it does slinging beads and sugary grain alcohol.
  • The man on the Grassy Knoll was, in fact, Sen. Ted Cruz' father.  Score another one for the crack investigative team at the National Enquirer.  

  • The CIA was unable to unlayer any new evidence that President Kennedy had a romantic liaison with Marilyn Monroe.  But Harvey Weinstein did force Ms. Monroe to sing 'Happy Birthday Mr. President' at a Miramax company picnic.

And lastly,

  • The secret documents reveal a whole new level on the Ick-ter scale of the political #MeToo campaign. Interviews have confirmed, 1964 Texas Senatorial candidate, George H. W. Bush, "gets pretty handsy" with actresses himself.  Not a typo.  H... W...  We only wish it had just been W.

WWII Pilot, CIA Director, 41st President of the United States, Berlin Wall Toppler, Ass Pincher.*
 
Maxine's Tap Room -- 5:00 to 7:00
107 N. Block

*Lets be bi-partisan about this: Political groping goes from Hamilton and Jefferson to Trump. So no need to call out GHWB more or less than any of the other lecherous, groping bastards.  It does put a whole new perspective on the 1992 Bush v. Clinton campaign, however.