Is Cam O.K.?

I'm really super worried about Cam Newton, y'all! His recent comments disrespecting female reporters seem completely out of character for him.

I mean, sure, in college Cam was charged with felony theft for stealing a laptop, painting his name on it and throwing it out a window in front of the cops; got implicated in three separate academic fraud scandals, and was subsequently expelled from the University of Florida(!); solicited $180,000 from Mississippi State, then took a more lucrative offer from Auburn; paid a Russian hooker to pee on him during the Moscow Miss Universe Pageant (allegedly); partied at a strip club three days after the birth of his son; and pouted after a Super Bowl loss. But harassing women in the workplace seems entirely out of bounds for the former league MVP (and noted yogurt slinger).

Fortunately, the NFL has stepped in. Because if there is one thing the league office hates more than punching your wife in a casino elevator, it's being bemused at a woman who knows more about running routes than you do.

We will gather today to pour one out for Tom Petty, kick-off Oktoberfest, and have Keely Meyer explain to us the physicality of the skinny post, the 10-yard out, and the deep comeback (whatever that means).

Puritan Brew -- 5:00 to 7:00
205 W. Dickson St.